Stories that stick. Songs that linger. Lessons that land.

Have you ever listened to an album, and thought, ‘this music sounds NOTHING like what I expected based on the album cover!’

Of course, you have. We make associations all the time based on what we see. It’s part of the way our minds work – we categorize the world into neat little boxes that drive our perceptions and expectations.

Sometimes the bands (or their publicists) do it in order to match the perception that accurately reflects the music – while other times they do it to contrast the music ... to create a little tension in the market.

I'm talking about music because most of us can relate to it, but whether it's music, consulting, or banking we are all subject to the same mechanism of the mind.

And being aware of it is crucial to our ability to leverage it in our favor, especially in how it relates to our differentiation and core message.

I’ll get to you and your core message in a couple of minutes, but first I need to tell you about two cognitive biases and one huge evolutionary advantage, all of which are at play here.

Let me ask you this…

What do you think of when I say the words, ‘used car salesman’? How about, a ‘cryptocurrency trader’? Or, tech startup? Or, 'motivational speaker’? I know what most people think when they hear that one!

Look, even before we consider the specific merits of any individual, we immediately conjure up in our minds the stereotypical impression of ‘those people’.

Just as it is with the album covers, we all do it. It’s the way we’re wired.

But why, why are wired like this? Well, as in many of my videos and newsletters, let’s check into neuroscience and this time we’ll throw in a little anthropology.

The simple reason we default to stereotypes is because a long time ago those of us with a better ability to generalize and categorize everything in the world, had a better survival rate.

Think about it… One encounter with a lion is enough to tell us that all lions should be treated with caution.

Trying to understand the exact nature of each individual person we meet would probably grind the CPU in our brains to a halt. So, humans and most animals have evolved to place everything in neat, little boxes.

Combine that with the negativity bias, and the very important ability to distinguish between friend and foe, us vs them, as quickly as possible, and well, that’s why we have negative stereotypes.

We have deeply ingrained stereotypes about race and religion and nationality and age and political affiliation, and hip hop and punk and elevator music and so many other things.

Now add in the confirmation bias – which neuroscience explains why we naturally notice things that prove the validity of our beliefs, and we don’t notice things that don’t, and you might begin to understand how this influences all our social connections – no matter how woke or un-woke we think we are.

Now let’s get back to your difference and core message…

Imagine you’re giving a presentation or meeting someone for the first time. It’s very likely that one of the very first things the other person would know about you is the field of work you are in or the industry you represent.

And immediately, the little voice in the back of the other person’s head is quietly shouting all the preconceived notions of who you are, what you do, and especially, what they don’t like about ‘people like you!’

They already know everything they need to know about you, informed by past experiences, portrayals of people like you in movies, high-profile articles in the news, and what their friends and colleagues have said about their worst experiences with people like you. Because let’s be honest, if they didn’t have a bad experience, they wouldn’t be telling the story, right?

But you can immediately disarm those people AND it’s like a shortcut to how you can differentiate yourself from all your competitors – and you don’t even have to do a swot analysis. Because you see, you don’t have to be different from everyone else in your space – you only need to be different from the stereotype that people have in their heads about people like you and companies like yours.

What’s your P-POD?

Here's an exercise I developed and used with almost all my clients. It’s called ‘P-POD’ – Perceived Point of Difference.

It begins with coming face to face with the stereotype that exists in other people’s minds about who you are and what you do.

Don’t shy away from it. Don’t be afraid of it. Instead, have fun and laugh about it!

Brainstorm all the negative things that people, especially customers, think about people like you.

Then pick out a few of those negative attributes, and answer the question, “I am not like the stereotype in the following, specific ways.”

And then describe at least one example of an actual experience that demonstrates how your different approach resulted in a successful outcome for a customer or client.

That approach or methodology – no matter how seemingly small or insignificant – shines a big spotlight on your P-POD, and the experience is a solid proof point, not to mention a great story!

Know Thy Stereotype. Know Thy Difference. Know Thyself.

It was Socrates who wisely said, ‘Know thyself’. And hopefully, I’ve just shown you that knowing thyself and knowing thy difference, go hand in hand. And in order for you to know thy difference, you have to also know thy stereotype.

So now, if I tell you I’m a motivational speaker, you’d probably think I go on stage and shout at people to live their best lives and crush their goals by saying, ‘You can do it!’ over and over again.

But that’s not what I do.

I show people how to use the power of storytelling and core messaging – with humor, empathy, and neuroscience – so you can be a more impactful leader, sell faster, and change your life… if you want to. (grin)

Please note that album cover graphics belong to their respective owners, and are used here for educational purposes.